They call it the monkey mind, those Buddhists. It sounds sorta cute, right? Like you could almost imagine a bunch of adorable little chimpanzees running around up there in your skull, swinging from vine to vine, eating bananas? And maybe with some coaxing and light meditation you could convince them all to stop their cute chimpanzee chattering for just a moment or two, so you could get some rest, for goodness sake?
Not me. I’ve got some big old howler monkeys living up there. They are loud and surly and they start their screaming when the nightly picture show comes on. You know the one – that movie that plays on repeat every night on the backs of your eyelids. The more that movie plays, the more those dramatic scenes of loss and heartbreak and misery come on, the louder those damn monkeys get. It’s enough to drive a girl crazy.
That’s why I’ve been secretly trying to film a new movie, way down in the cellars of my heart, where the monkeys are none the wiser. It’s hard, this project of breaking one cycle of storytelling, this task of finding a new narrative. But I’m trying. And I like to think when it premieres, it might shut those monkeys up. At least for a little while.
With beautiful and powerful words like these, and your commitment to seeking, capturing and sharing joy, I know those monkeys will shut up in no time. What a stunningly delicate post, Noel.
Posted by: Roxanne | November 20, 2011 at 10:22 AM
Bravo for this light hearted post regarding those rambuctious monkeys. Yes, they are challening bugers but in no time you will have them licked with Shera and her mighty powers!
Posted by: Dragonfly | November 20, 2011 at 12:28 PM
I'm sharing this with my partner who I think is experiencing something very similar to you. This post will bring him, as it has brought me, a smile and a refreshing perspective.
I'm with Roxanne, those monkeys will be quiet in no time, at all. Sending love, Noel.
Posted by: Mary | November 20, 2011 at 03:26 PM
I've never heard this phrase before, but God, it makes SO much sense. So much. I've had monkeys myself for the past little while and at least now I know who to blame.
I admire so much the way you have brought all the phases of this new movie to French Christmas in the past few months. And I would like to be in the front row, munching on popcorn, when you roll film.
xo, xo, xo.
Posted by: Kim | November 20, 2011 at 07:35 PM
"That’s why I’ve been secretly trying to film a new movie, way down in the cellars of my heart, where the monkeys are none the wiser."
This really got me. I GET this. This is how I have been feeling for the past year...quietly trying to reset, so that nobody knows until I am ready to reveal myself again.
You are such a kind, generous spirit. As everyone else has indicated, I can't wait for the big premier, but the previews are breathtaking, so far!
Posted by: Brandee | November 21, 2011 at 06:26 PM
@Roxanne--Thank you! I loved that you used the world delicate here. I often feel anything but ... that really touched me. Thanks as always for all of your support.
@Dragonfly--Shera only has powers from all of the team who's got her back. ;)
@Mary--I'm so honored by your words and that you would share this post. Knowing that definitely shuts the monkeys up!
@kim--Thank you! Y'all have VIP passes. ;)
@Brandee--I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. There is this new thing I feel myself becoming. I'm not sure of who she is yet, and I'm scared of unveiling her just yet. Thank you for understanding, it's such a gift!
Posted by: Noel | November 21, 2011 at 08:10 PM