I should have written this post last week.
I should have written this post last Tuesday on the actual anniversary.
But I didn’t. Even though I had it in my head and I wondered if I would find a way to make sense of the words and images that were swirling around in my brain and actually get them out into in a Word Doc.
Then yesterday Kim honored me on her post about 7 archival links. How perfect, to think about the past and to dig into the archives for a post about my grandfather.
So we’ll begin here, with the post I wrote a year ago that explains my grandfather and the circumstances of his death. It’s a funny thing, death. It’s funny how sometimes its arrival sticks to your mind more than others, like when people die too young or in some violent, unexpected way.
(My grandmother passed on New Year’s Eve but on New Year’s I do not think of her. Perhaps because she slipped into the next world so peacefully, like a sigh, and didn’t leave anything behind.)
I think my grandfather left something behind. I think I have taken it inside.
That archival post, you see, talks about how bull-headed and stubborn my grandfather was. He did things his way. There was no other way. This might not have made him the most likeable person, or someone easy to understand. This means he did a lot of things that were really inexcusable. But it also means he survived things like losing both of his parents and living in an orphanage during the Great Depression.
This year I did some things I wouldn’t have believed if you told me a year ago that I would be doing them. And I think my grandfather leaving something behind for me, a little piece of himself, may have had something to do with it.
I don't have champagne to toast him with, or a crystal flute, but I do have this Boleslawiec mug adorned with Peacock feathers. I think my Grandpa would have liked this better anyhow.
this is so touching....your grandfather would be pleased (:
Posted by: Dragonfly | September 21, 2011 at 06:36 PM
This is incredibly touching, Noel. Maybe the coffee in my own mug will turn into champagne and I can toast with you? :)
Posted by: Roxanne | September 21, 2011 at 11:15 PM
Many hugs my friend. I'm constantly - constantly touched by the beauty and grace of your writing and your thoughts. Thank you for sharing this. I toast along with you and Roxanne...
Posted by: Tracy Mangold | September 22, 2011 at 05:02 AM
@Dragonfly--Thanks! That means a lot.
@Roxanne and @Inky--*Virtual Clink* Cheers! And cheers to both of you, your every-so-thoughtful comments and you enduring support. :)
Posted by: Noel | September 22, 2011 at 07:11 PM
Your ability to find the golden things will never fail to awe me. And that you know how to find the golden sheen on things that seem profoundly unsheeny to other people... well, darling, that is a gift.
Posted by: Kim | September 23, 2011 at 03:14 AM