I have been avoiding it, this first Saturday without you. Filling my nights and weekend days up with errands, dinners, tea times. Filling the emptiness up with the soft words and faces of friends and family, God Bless them, who freely give both shoulders to lean on.
But I know that no matter how long I put it off, sooner or later there will be an unscheduled day, a day without tasks and parties to keep me from thinking of your face and your voice and how we used to spend our quiet Saturday afternoons. Running from it is exhausting.
And so that day will be today. The first one and probably not the last one, but hopefully the hardest one.
I love so much the way you balance this ache with hope for better. Much love to you, and much hope that the next Saturdays get easier.
Posted by: Kim | July 16, 2011 at 02:21 PM
The Saturday is over and you got through it. May every single one of them get a little bit lighter. And may you continue to see the light in that unique way that screams Noel to me.
Posted by: Roxanne | July 16, 2011 at 10:47 PM
To stop runnning and sit with grief takes courage, loving kindness and an abundance of kleenix (:
The grief will rise and fall but with each passing day it will lessen to be replaced with inner peace and acceptance.
Posted by: Dragonfly | July 17, 2011 at 04:32 PM
I'm sorry you have to go through this, Noel. But I love your outlook on things. I'm thinking of you and looking forward to a time when we can get together! Thinking of you - always.
Posted by: Tracy Mangold | July 18, 2011 at 07:34 AM
@Kim--Thanks! Trying to strike the balance keeps the teeter totter from totally going over. ;)
@Roxanne--I did! And that gave me some unexpected strength to go through the next week.
@Dragonfly--That's right. It's just like the tide.
@Tracy--ME TOO! I really wish there would be a #reverb convention/meet up extravaganza.
Thanks ALL for your kind thoughts!! :)
Posted by: Noel | July 25, 2011 at 07:23 AM
speaking of inner peace, have you seen "Kung Fu Panda 2"? It's all about his search for inner peace. If you haven't, I highly recommend it as a fun pick-me-up and a way to enjoy some of your non-busy time. I'd gladly bring it over to watch with you, even.
Posted by: whitney | July 25, 2011 at 09:16 AM
except...ha...it's not out on DVD yet. Maybe you can catch a theater that's still playing it for super cheap :)
Posted by: whitney | July 25, 2011 at 09:18 AM